I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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