Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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