Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize