Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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