Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
