if you like me you must not know who I am
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
