Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
