so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
