break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
