Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
