There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
