Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
