we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
