how can u be prego again
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
