So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
