I accidentally burped into my bong.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
