so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
