Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
