Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
