He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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