Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
