He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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