I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
