she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
