shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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