i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize