great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
