Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
my liver is dry heaving
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
