Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
