So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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