do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
