Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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