Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
