their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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