No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
