What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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