I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
