Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
