Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
