bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
