we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
