Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
