Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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