guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
