and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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