i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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