i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I looked at my own cervix.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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