Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
