Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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