plz talk dirty to me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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