im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
