this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
