break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
did i just pee glitter
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
