omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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