im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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