Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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