Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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