dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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