so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
